Back when I was about 9 or 10 years old I read a book called ‘Fear is the key’ by Alistair Maclean. Although just a novel, the concept of how fear can be used as an effective weapon was well impressed upon me.
It seems the same is true of our everyday lives. People do things more out of fear than anything else. Usually fear of acceptance (or rejection - same coin, different sides) by their work-mates, friends and family.
Let’s take binge-drinking as an example.
According to research, upto a quarter of 13-14 year olds in the UK have had at least 5 alcoholic drinks in a single sitting! No doubt, when I was that age I looked for ways to get hold of some alcohol so I could be one of the ‘cool’ kids. That was peer-pressure leading me to the conclusion that to be part of the elite gang (acceptance) I’d have to do what they did. Thankfully, it never got to such a point that I seriously damaged my health because of it. Of course, binge-drinking isn’t just a problem for young teenagers - it seems adults are having a hard time controlling themselves too.
But it doesn’t stop at that - think about how many tv shows we watch so we fit in with the crowd at school or work and don’t feel left out when the conversation turns that way. Never mind that the hour or two could be spent on a better show or a book or anything inspiring, we seem to think it better to vegetate in front of the box so we can be part of the in crowd the next day.
And what of fear of the unknown? Are you in a career or profession you know doesn’t suit you but you just don’t know what else to do? You’re not alone. I’d bet there’s a good percentage of people who are in that situation.
However, there’s probably a bigger percentage who don’t know they’re burning out and realise too late to do anything about it.
Interestingly, the fear of acceptance and fear of the unknown are somewhat linked - have you ever thought about doing something totally new, something you know nothing about, only to be talked out of it by naysayers? That’s the fear of rejection preventing us from facing our fear of the unknown - if we ‘fail’ at this new venture, then we fear the naysayers will have a merry old time rubbing it in. It’s hard to break out of the mould when there’s no apparent support.
One of my favourite movies is The Matrix - not only for the ground-breaking sfx and action scenes but for the philosophy behind all the dazzle.
Neo, the hero, lives a dull, humdrum life but something irks him - he feels something, like a splinter in the back of his mind, telling him there’s a better life out there. He follows this feeling and it leads him to Morpheus, who had been in a similar state and now knows his purpose in life. Morpheus offers Neo a choice - to be free of the Matrix or to continue life as before.
Neo faces his fear of the unknown, and of rejection, and chooses freedom. Although initially uncomfortable and confused, Neo begins, with the help and support of like-minded individuals, to train himself to tackle the ‘real-world’, better equipped now than when he was still part of the Matrix. He discovers his true purpose in life and achieves it when he ultimately brings down the false world of the Matrix and helps to free mankind (actually, only those who make the choice to be free).
The message is basically this - Without facing our fears one cannot break free of the world that stifles us and therefore we cannot achieve our full potential. Most of us believe that the world will remain the way it is and nothing can be done to better it and so it’s easier to continue living and doing what we have done in the past.
To make this bearable we do and act the same as everyone else - what and how much they drink, what they watch, what they read etc, because if we don’t we end up in no-man’s land - Not yet realising our potential and no longer an accepted member of the herd.
A downward spiral that ultimately leads to a lifetime of missed opportunities, while we focus on the lives of strangers, be they vain celebrities or sports stars/teams or wannabes taking part in the latest reality social experiment.
We all have the choice of which way to turn this key - to our advantage toward happiness and freedom, or to our disadvantage and a continuation of life, as it may be.
Which way will you turn the key?